I’ve been thinking about lately how my life seems to be spinning out of control. It’s amazing when you’re not conscious of your actions (metaphorically speaking) things creep up you. The past two months, I haven’t kept my eye on the ball and it all just started going downhill.
My spending. I looked at my bank statements for the couple of months and I realized that I have areas wherein if I would have reigned myself back in, I would have had enough money to go back home for a holiday instead of spending my precious annual leave sitting out here in London and spending even more money on inconsequential things. Or I could have saved in our nest egg. So we can buy our house.
My weight. Logically, I should have had lost weight. My work involves so much manual labour that sometimes I feel like I’m there not as a professional but rather as a cleaner. Heck, the cleaner has the job much easier than mine! They do not have to deal with swine flu, IVDU’s, HIV patients who spit at you, whiny people...and the list goes on. At the start of every workday, I have to deal with getting Cori and Myself up and ready. It stresses me out. But since Brendan has taken over that part, all I am left with is just getting her settled in the nursery. And that is why even before workday has started, I’m stressed out. But I got to admit that this really has gotten much easier as with most things. And inevitably, I start eating. I don’t watch what I eat. It’s really different here because both the quality of the food (yummy) and the quantity of the portions are so huge that what I normally eat for lunch would be enough to feed 3 people back in the Philippines. It’s not because I eat junk. I honestly haven’t eaten more than 5 bars of chocolates in the past 2 months. It’s the amount I eat and I don’t drink enough water.
So the weight just piled on.
Yesterday when I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I cried! Brendan came home around 9 pm and by that time I have composed myself. It would have been so silly to cry over something like that. Anyway, I knew that he knew I was upset and being the proactive person that he was, sat out and started making this health plan for the both of us.
We are so damn fat. There’s no denying it. Our night has been a discussion of health food planning and so have a set plan for the next six weeks. I hope we can stick on to it because last year, August I think it was, we actually followed the whole plan. We saved money, felt healthy and happy because we weren’t so tired all the time. In that month, Brendan was almost back to his pre-marriage weight. He was walking and I was doing my taebo and calorie counting as well. But then September happened. It got too cold for Brendan to walk after work. And I was depressed because I couldn’t find a job. And turned to food to feel better. I think in every household it is important that you and your partner motivate each other because it is the food habits that either make or break you. It’s so hard when you’re trying to be healthy and there’s your significant other stuffing his face with chocolate tarts drowning in double cream. It makes a difference when you really want to stuff your face with goodies and your partner would put on this self-righteous face after you offered him the said goodies and tell you in this most offhand manner. “No, thank you, I’m alright.” It became a competition for me last time and lost a massive amount of weight.
Back to the plan. We are going to calorie count and do exercise. Following a set plan of meals for the next weeks or so. I hope we won’t fell off the wagon again. We need to train our filthy eating habits.
The catalyst really for me was Sunday night. I was supposed to work the night shift. But when I got there, there was a mix up and they’ve booked a bank. So I said, I’m going home. But as I was leaving, Kuya Kim said to come with them to the pub to have a drink and de-stress. Seeing that I haven’t gone with any of my colleagues before, I went. Austin, Chester and Kim. All guys but all married and nice. Malene, Kuya Kim’s wife was suppose to join us but decided to sleep instead because she was working that night.
We got talking and we happen to talk about Glysa. Another 20 something Filipina nurse. She is very pretty. But got myasthenia gravis and went home. She came back here and she was so fat. It was such a shame. It was because she was taking steroids. Kuya Kim said how he was so surprised when he saw her. He almost didn’t recognize her. And then the magic words. He turned to me and said, “No offense Kristina ha, pero akala ko nga ikaw!”
Uh-uh.
Nothing more can be said about that.
So back to the plan.
My daughter at KFC. This is just a captured "quiet moment" because she went to hyper overdrive when I finished this shot.
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